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White Sheep, Black Sheep
There is a Celtic legend that in the eighth century a group of sailors, bound for points unknown, come across a tiny magical island. Needing respite from their long voyage and shelter from an encroaching storm, the seafarers land on the island to ride out the soon to be violent weather. Immediately upon disembarking they see that this mystical place is separated into two equal parts by a long, winding rock wall. On each side of this wall there grazes a flock of sheep and sitting astride the rock divider is a shepherd playing a plaintive tune on a penny whistle. The sheep on the windward side of the wall are all black; the sheep on the sheltered side all white.
As the sailors draw near, they hear much bleating coming from within the flock of white sheep. Immediately they witness the shepherd grin, get off his perch, grab one of the white animals and toss it to the other side of the wall. In the blink of an eye the banished white ewe turns black and stops bleating. Soon the crying begins again, this time coming from the black sheep side and the shepherd again, all the while grinning, lumbers off the wall, grabs a black ram and hefts it over the wall into the white flock and within seconds the ram turns white and stops crying. This exercise is repeated over and over again, with sheep turning color, back and forth, but with no stop in the bleating of the sheep.
Soon the bleating gets worse because the sheep are so unhappy with their new condition and the shepherd, so frustrated that his black and white solutions are not working, gets down from his perch on the rock wall and walks away from the flocks.
In the telling of this tale, the Celts understood that black and white thinking is unhelpful, that it may make a person feel good in the moment but it does no good in solving problems.
It is human nature to attack problem solving by thinking in extremes…by seeing the situation as either black or white and nothing in between. We imagine doing something drastic as the only way to correct the problem….you are tired of the dating game because you can’t find a mate so you give up all together…you can’t find a job so you stop looking…your hair turns gray so you dye it (oops, this one sounds familiar)…you have to wait in a long line so you just leave the store. All these situations could have been addressed by finding a middle ground and perhaps even a wonderful resolution be gained. Granted, these solutions worked, altered the situation, and allowed the individual to feel good about standing firm and not compromising. But is this really the case, did they truly satisfy?
The truly adept problem solver is not one who resorts to extremes to alleviate the situation. The most skilled action is to find a middle ground, to take small steps in solving the problem and most importantly to understand that a middle ground solution is not compromise but a simple change in attitude that might just change the dynamics of the dilemma. So going back to our extreme solvers…change the dating process by changing your list of requirements…change your chances of finding a job by volunteering…change your attitude about gray hair by accepting it as a right of passage…change the frustration about waiting in line by striking up a conversation with the person behind or in front of you. Small changes in action and attitude can cause huge changes in circumstance and satisfaction. And you will know when this change has occurred…you will find yourself taking a deep sigh of relief , smiling more and even being eager to take on the next bleating sheep.
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