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I retreated into a dark place, a shrunken little soul who was afraid to be seen, afraid to join in, afraid to let the light shine on me, terrified if it did that all that is imperfect about me would be out there for everyone to see. I was shrinking into an invisible woman, fulfilling my own prophecy that I was a “nothing” with nothing to give, nothing to share, nothing to inspire, despite people telling me all the time that I was attractive, smart, talented, creative, good. It didn’t matter… I knew what I was and people were just being kind, saying nice things because they were trying to encourage me to “buck up.”
But then something happened…something horrible and heartbreaking and traumatic…an event that caused me to believe that I had lost something so dear to me, so important in my life, so crucial to my identity, that a light went on and I realized that I had to wake up, take stock of my life, and show the world that I was valuable, that I wasn’t the self-made broken and empty vessel that I thought myself to be. So…I collected all my writings, the random thoughts from this flawed human being and started to share them with others. At first it was very uncomfortable, in fact it was down-right terrifying…my thought was that no one would want to read about my insecurities, my dreams and fantasies, my view of our wonderful world. Would they think I’m crazy, that I’m damaged, that I’m silly? But I stuck to it and as I unearthed more and more of myself, I found people being drawn in, reading and making positive and loving comments about my stories. I was encouraged and gratified and so I shared more and more. I wrote and wrote and provided my writings a forum to be read…a forum for my voice to be heard.
A miracle began, a transformation occurred. I started to feel good about me, to appreciate myself, my mind, my heart, my spirit. I was able to accept compliments without being embarrassed and uncomfortable. I started to celebrate my own uniqueness and as I grew more and more confident, I gained more and more self-worth and my creativity soared to new heights. My mind, heart and soul began to sing.
Now, every morning I awaken with a new spirit, a new eagerness to share more of my voice, my melody. I am reborn and life is good.
Everyone has a story to tell, a dream to share, a poem to write, a life to celebrate, a heart to let sing. Tell it! Dream it! Write it! Celebrate it! Sing it!
LE
10.20.11
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