Laughter is the best medicine.

I don’t know how old Roxie is. She’s closer to 100 than to a 20 year old. I do know she is frisky, sharp as a tack, is spiritually sensitive and loves humor. Of a different kind. And live at Mission Commons in Redlands.  For example, she has introduced me to the word PARAPROSDOKIANS. It sounds like a disease but in reality it is a figure of speech very popular in England. Winston Churchill loved them. “They are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.”

Here are a few examples. 1) Where there is a will, I want to be in it. 2) The last thing I want to do is hurt you; But it’s still on my list. 3) If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. 4) War does not determine who is right, but who is left. 5) You’re never too old to learn something stupid. And finally, I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. Thank you, Roxie.

A recent news item from Washington, D.C. shook me up. To help save the economy Congress is considering a bill to deport seniors (instead of illegals), in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Older persons are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I was terribly upset when I thought of the many seniors I know. Then it dawned on me. . . . “I’ll meet you on the bus.”

A few years ago I made a trip around the world and found that many countries make fun of another country. For example: Finland dislikes Russia. They even say that in many places in Russia, if someone laughs, it’s considered a sign of insanity.

Austrians say about Poland, “They are so dumb, their firing squad in a circle.” The Italians mock the Germans. “What do you call the beautiful girls in Germany?” The answer is, Tourists.

Every country had another country to ridicule-on and on. Even in Africa.

When visiting Kenya, Tanzania and Botswana, the ones I talked to kept using the word, “BONGO.” I asked the meaning of it when referring to each other. It means, “They don’t get it. They are not quick-dumb.” A real put-down.

One liners are always good for a chuckle. Dog for sale, Eats everything and is fond of children.” On a plumber’s van: “We repair what your husband fixed. “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.” “What do elephants have that no other animal does?”  Little elephants. Three year old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred. Enough of that.    

Did you hear about the farmer that called the fire department because his barn was on fire? The fireman said, “How do we get there?” The farmer says, “Don’t you still have those big red trucks?”

Two guys were changing clothes in the locker room after a golf game. One says to the other. “How long have you been wearing a girdle?” The other one says, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment of my car.”

A robber goes into a bank and holds up the teller. She refuses to give him the money and he kills her. Then turning around he asks the guy behind him if he saw him shoot her. “Yes,” he said. He then shoots him. He turns to a lady and asks it she saw him. She says, “No, but my husband did.”

One of my favorite jokes goes like this. When he was President, Bill Clinton was jogging along the Potomac River with his Security men. Suddenly he slipped his shoes off, and before the Security guys could stop him he dove into the river and began to swim. After about 50 yards he got cramps and began to go down.

Before the men could get out of their clothes, two teenagers jumped in, swam out and got President Clinton and brought him to shore.

When he was able, he thanked them and said, “Boys, I’m the President and I’ll see that you get anything you want. The first boy said, “I’m graduating this year and would like to go to Annapolis.” Clinton said, “You’ve got it.”

The second boy said “I would like to be buried in the National Cemetery.” Clinton was surprised. “You’re so young! Why are you thinking about being buried in the National Cemetery?”  The young man responded, “When my dad finds out what I’ve done, he’s going to kill me.”

WORDS TO THINK ABOUT

G. W. Abersold Ph.D.