Friendship

Friendship is a bond that spans years and differences. Proverbs 18:24 clarifies friendship. “There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother”

Some years ago a friend gave me a narrative poem by Eleanor Hastings: “A FRIEND IS . . . one with whom you dare to be yourself. A person who isn’t required to like you, but does. One who combines for you the pleasures and benefits of both society and solitude. One soul in two bodies. Someone you choose to be with.

Friendship is a gentle thing, a quiet feeling, rich in unspoken admiration-life is good when you can say: I have a friend!”

There is no limit to who can become a friend. Neither race nor ethnic identity need mar a relationship. Neither can gender or age limit the opportunities of friendship. Surveys have shown many times the number one pre-requisite for marriage is having the bond of friendship, first.

There are many things that bind two diverse people together as friends. A natural proclivity should not be dismissed out of-hand. Likes often attract in both love and friendship. Likes often attract but so do opposites. The issue is unpredictable.

Time not only binds cheese but also friends. Often two kids become friends in grade school and it was maintained through college, marriage, retirement and old age. I have several friendships that started in high school and college.

However, most of my friends are those I’ve met in more recent years. What has attracted us to be friends? Common interests are the basic reason. Curiosity about religious viewpoints; travel and the cultures of other countries; books, both historical and novels; sports of all kinds; good food and eating out; our families and their escapades and, of course, politics.

One of my best friends is racist and he accuses me of being a socialist. Another is a baseball enthusiast and I hate it. I’m for football and he hates it. I attend a church that is basically fundamentalist. I’m a liberal and most of them tolerate me. And I them. We are friends.

I’ve had a few professed friends who through time have turned out to be “wolves in sheep’s clothing.” They professed friendship but openly and often covertly attempted to undermine my reputation and credibility. I’m sure you have too.

In no way has this characteristic minimized the desire for friendship. Trust them again? Probably. Develop other friends? Absolutely.

Now, a major question. What can destroy a genuine friendship? I’ve already mentioned one. But there are others. The basic one is what I call, “lack of cultivation.”

This Summer Stella and I decided to have a garden-a miniature farm-10 feet by 15 feet. We planted and have harvested: lettuce, squash, cucumbers, peppers and tomatoes. We have learned several things: the land needs constant care (level it, get rid of the rocks, rake in mulch, create small irrigation ditches and plant either seeds or small plants.)

The basic cultivation is Miracle-Gro and plenty of water. The metaphor should be obvious. Friendship is like our garden. The relationship must be cultivated and not be ignored. TLC (tender loving care) is needed for both.

Too often money, ill health, influence from others, sudden philosophical or religious changes, political bigotry, etc. have destroyed friendships. I’ve witnessed the fracturing of too many friendships. A real tragedy.

There is a final paragraph to Eleanor Hastings’ poem:

“A FRIEND is really a lot of things. A listener, a talker, someone who says, ‘Remember when we . . .’ and you remember. Doing things together is the stuff friendships are made from. Sharing memories is the glue. Time polishes all real friendships until they shine.”

THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF FRIENDSHIP IS ELEVATED TO A HIGH LEVEL IN THE BOOK OF JAMES 2:33. ABRAHAM IS REFERRED TO AS “A FRIEND OF GOD.”

P. S. After this article was written, a neighbor gave us a plaque with these words on it, “The road to a friend’s house is never long” Thank you, Martin.

Amen. Selah. So be it.

 

WORDS TO THINK ABOUT:
G. W. Abersold Ph.D