When writing verse, you’re wasting time
Unless you make the darn stuff rhyme, of course.
As a poet I’m a cluck.
I never seem to have much luck somehow.
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?Â A Student asked this essay question on his physics exam wrote the following:Â
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he
hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave
with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is
being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a
friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the
music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the
previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to
consult a music scholar.
When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing,
Again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played
in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th,
then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered
around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony
being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously.
A Little Fun
Laughter Lifts Your Spirit